[python] Fix update_by_row_id commit cleanup semantics

[QuakeWang]

Purpose

Fix update_by_row_id commit lifecycle handling so failures around commit cleanup follow the same transaction boundary as merge_into:

• abort pending commit messages only when failure happens before commit starts
• do not abort once commit has started
• log commit/abort close failures as warnings so they do not override a successful commit or mask the original commit failure

This keeps the change scoped to update_by_row_id commit/abort/close semantics and adds regression coverage for the failure boundaries.

Tests

• python -m pytest pypaimon/tests/ray_update_by_row_id_test.py -q
• git diff --check

[JingsongLi]

+1