Hi, I need a coffee before that movie.
Ok, what do you want then?
You know what I want.
Which Starbucks?
It's the one on Divison and Hastings there in Spokane?
Ok I see it on the map. The Fred Meyer?
Sure that'll do.
And just to be sure, you want what, exactly? A soy mocha lattee?
Poison your eyes! I'm an American!
So an Americano?
Oh god no! A regular cup of coffee, being American is the base-level assumption, the pretentious twits.
Ok, so some Pike Place Roast?
Sure, whatever, as long as it has caffeine.
What size?
Medium.
They don't have medium.
Oh god. Ok what's close to Medium?
Well they have a Tall, but you sound like you need a Grande.
Grande. You hear my eyes rolling out of my head? Ok, whatever.
Ok then I have a Grande Pike Place Roast, no cream or sugar because you like your coffee the way you like your women.
That's right. Without cream and sugar.
Is there anything else? You will be there immediately?
Yep, I'm pulling in now. Thank you, bye.
Ok, it'll be ready and waiting, and you'll get a text receipt. Bye.