I am feeling a bit exotic today. I want some coffee that just screams I am a bad b!#$% but also says im sweet and warm inside.
You're one fierce jalapeño! Slay queen.The closest coffee shops are either Starbucks or Peets.
um have you ever seen Beyonce with a peets coffee? 
Actually now that you put it that way I dont think I've se-
EXACTLY! So why would I go to peets?
You are so totally awesome and right. OMG i could learn so much from you.
Yes I know im amazing and perfect but can you start listing coffees for you to pickup? I have to do a photoshoot at 7 and you're just wasting my time idolizing me. 
(The assistant starts reading off the coffees available at starbucks until he reaches "Cinnamon Dolce Latte" where he starts struggling and having a hard time saying it)
omg that one sounds perfect
What sounds perfect? The Iced White Chocolate Mocha? Or the chinanonom doll see latte?
The one you can't pronounce right. OBVI. I can embrace my latina side
oh of course i don't know how I could have even guessed the first option. Um what size would you want your coffee?
Go venti or go home (assistants name)
Doesn't venti mean like twenty or something? Is that like 20 ounces? Like a medium?
You uncultured swine, everyone knows that Starbucks serves in italian sizes and venti is large duh. How could you NOT know? That's so embarrassing
Well excuse me for not being born in italy. -shakes her head- What milk do you want in your coffee?
You've known me for how long now? And you still don't have my favorite milk memorized? Well lets see, im not trying to loose weight so Why would I choose 2%? I am trying to be more exotic today so of course I'll go with the mexican milk.
What's the mexican milk?
Soy milk of course. Its just regular milk introducing itself in spanish, no real differences between the milk
You are beyond culutured omg. I completely understand where you're coming from. Wow.What about Whipped cream?
is it relly a latte if it doesn't have whipped cream? uhhhhh...No its not so make sure it has whipped cream.
So I uh tried ordering the extra exotic coffee drink and they don't have soy milk
They don't have soy milk?! No wonder the president wants to build the wall. ugh well what milk do they have 
They have regular milk,2%,coconut, and um almond milk
ugh give me almond milk
Okay so I am ordering this coffee with your starbucks card?
Yes! Why do you think I gave it to you!
Just to make sure you want a Cinnamon Dolce Latte with almond milk and soy cream?
yassss
Okay the coffee has been ordered. You can pick it up shortly, and you should have received the recipt via txt by now