VIRUS v3030.1

"I want to devise a virus / to bring dire straits to your environment /
crash your whole computer system / and revert you to papyrus"
— Deltron 3030, Virus (2000)

Somebody had to try. Four acts of theater that do nothing to your computer:
a fake boot, the impossible requirements failing deadpan, a Win95 folder bomb
rendered rather than executed, and a terminal that slowly fills with papyrus.

It does nothing. On purpose.

No writes outside its own directory, no self-replication, no network, no
subprocess, no persistence. Act 3's folder bomb is print() in a loop — the
counter climbs to 2047 and your disk stays exactly where it was. Run
virus --check and it asserts all of that, then prints
ok: 4 acts, terminal restored, 0 files harmed.

Yes, the repo is called virus. That's the joke. Read
virus.py — it's one
stdlib file, and the whole thing fits on a couple of screens.

Run it

virus            the full bit, ~45s, bassline on
virus --fast     no sleeps, two seconds
virus --mute     no bassline
virus --check    the self-check

Linux / macOS: tar xzf virus-v1.0-*.tar.gz && ./virus
The macOS build is arm64 and unsigned — right-click → Open the first time, or
xattr -d com.apple.quarantine virus.

Windows: run the .exe. SmartScreen will grumble about an unsigned binary
from the internet named virus.exe, which is honestly fair of it.

Or skip all of this. virus.py is stdlib-only Python with a shebang —
chmod +x virus.py && ./virus.py needs no download at all.

Also in here

virus.mid — the bassline as a real MIDI file, hand-rolled struct.pack, no
library. Original notes, not a transcription of the Automator's instrumental.

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Unofficial, non-commercial homage. Not affiliated with or endorsed by Deltron
3030, Del the Funky Homosapien, Dan the Automator, or Kid Koala. Lyrics quoted
as a short excerpt with attribution; rights remain with their owners. Code is
MIT — the song isn't ours to give.

Go buy the album. It's better than this.