This section of The Well Cultured Anonymous is meant to provide you with information about the most common sexual practices. The following is taken from both literature and first-hand personal experience, but as the author(s) we'd like to state that nothing you see here is the truth revealed about sex. The author(s) are aware that many sex tricks may be found easily through Google, but as sex seems to be an important part of one's life especially in the world we live right now, we're meant to talk estensively about it. We're no Cosmopolitan or such, therefore there won't be the classical "How to drive him mad in bed"-approach, we won't tell you how to find a person to have sex with; or how to deal with your fetishes and propose them; other sections of the book will be meant to do so. Also, we won't go in detail through the deep psychological analysis of sex; rather, our intent is to use the most objective light, and add definitions, occasionally suggesting what we do know, and adding here and there some advice in colloquial tone.
Table of Contents
The definition of "most common sexual practices" may seem inadequate, due to the impossibility to strictly catalogue the human sexual behavior; we'd range from missionary intercourse to scat fetishes and we'd probably be here talking forever. Assured that this is meant to be a practical guide for sex, we can draw at least some guidelines and give some further definition:
- Sexual intercourse: if you've never seen people having penis-to-vagina or penis-to-anus sex I wonder how much have you used Internet and what you've been using it for. With the definition "sexual intercourse", in this guide, we define any genital-to-genital contact that involves penetration and, by similarity, also any genital-to-anal contact that involves penetration.
- Oral intercourse: any oral-to-genital contact and, by similarity, also any oral-to-anal contact.
- Non-sexual intercourse: any other kind of genitals-to-body-part contact, including genital-to-genital and genital-to-anal contacts that do not involve penetration.
I cannot stress that enough. You need, no, require, a clean room, that involves:
- relatively tidy room
- no food, packaging, plates, cutlery lying about
- no pile of (dirty) clothes
- no random scraps of paper or books all over the place
- clean bedsheets, bed must be properly done, or barely undone.
- clean floor
- clean everything
- no body odours lingering, it's a room, not a cave.
Back in primary school, starting in roughly sixth grade in today's day and age, people stress protection during sexual intercourse. And this for a few reasons:
STDs, or sexually transmitted diseases, why does everyone make such a big fucking deal of this? Because such contact as what you are going to get from sexual intercourse are amongst the ones with highest transmission risks. Think of kissing someone with the flu or a gastrointestinal illness, delicious, isn't it?
- Some practices are more risky than others, if there's risk of injury/blood, it's a sign of such increased risks.
- However we're not going to bust your gonads with details, there are plenty of websites for that, all better informed than we are. Go read them. Period. Pun.
Planned Parenthood, that is probably your main concern by now, as you obviously disregarded the health risks as your hormones kindly forced you to. Unless we are considering a homosexual relationship, chances are one of the two of you might just start forming that little entity we call a foetus (and if you have such a vivid imagination as the Collective, you surely can imagine more such cases).
- If you are in it for fun, clearly you don't want to end up with a child to care for, particularly since if you read this, you're likely to be terrible at taking care of anything but yourself, and even that.
- If you are in a relationship but clearly fit the previous description, it still applies.
- If you are planning to have a child, just concern yourself with infection risks and if the radiation of the various artifacts you keep around you haven't made you sterile yet, it should work out at some point.
- Use a Condom the whole fucking time, every time.
If you catch something, chances are you'll be banned from sexual life for a while, and I figure you don't want that. If you are going to have sex, use the big three:
- A properly fucking checked condom, if in doubt, fill the tip with water and see if any leaks out. And NEVER. EVER. use a gas station condom. Stick to Trojan or Durex if available. Wear it the entire time.
- Make your research, some brands are better than others, as usual.
- Unfit condoms dramatically increase the chances of spill and uselessness of protection.
- Too large.
- Too small.
- Too thin.
- Some practices put more strain on them, know them.
- Any fat based product will break down the components of the latex, and you risk breaking it.
- Water increases friction, same thing.
- Unlubricated 'orifices' create friction, idem.
- Not knowing how to put it on is a massive failure on your end. If neither you nor your partner can do it, then you'll both look pretty damn stupid.
- All these are reasons why the theoretical efficiency of condoms (98-99%) is down to 80-85%, because people are clearly doing it WRONG.
PULL OUT. Even with a condom on. Can never be too careful bro.
- Once used as a prevention method by itself, it's efficiency is far from good, as an unprotected penis will still have a certain amount of ejaculate drip out before the actual orgasm.
- It offers little to no protect against most STDs, however, if I am correct, some of them have the pinnacle of the infection risk during ejaculation, don't rely on it, still, it is only used here as a reference.
- Still it might(not will) increase the chances of not having problems if you had some with the condom.
- Make sure the bitch is on birth control.
- Don't trust her about it either. Ask her to show you her pills if its a one night thing or, if in a relationship, ask for her to let you watch her take the pill. Don't let her give you any bullshit about "not trusting her" because if she does give you that bullshit she is probably a cocktrapping slut who wants to trap you into commitment.
- This method can be combined with physical methods of prevention, however know that combining two methods of the same type hardly increases the protection.
- Double condom actually reduces it.
- Anal intercourse presents much higher risks than condoms, as in 0 protection against STDs, and little against pregnancy.
- Sidenote, if she is so dumb/drunk that she thinks she can get pregnant from fellatio, then she'll prove to be right by getting pregnant in an unexplainable (to you *snicker*) way.
As we said, sexual intercourse is any kind of genital-to-genital contact that involves penetration.
Please note that these information are suitable with particular regard to male/female intercourse; male/male intercourse can happen with similar positions, as well as female/female sex, if partners are provided with devices like strap-on dildos, etc. To further eliminate distinguish between the sex of the partecipants, the penetrating partner will be always referred as to "A", while the receiving partner will be always referred to as "B".
Note: Suggestions section helps giving some advice on possible variations and tricks to make the positions less schematic and helping in varying them. Pros and Cons sections advice on what may be the merits and flaws of such a position.
Note: All techniques mention "thrusts"; the thrusts may be performed in any way possible, i.e. simple pelvic thrusts, or full thrusts with a "push-up" movement to use the partner's weight, etc. pretty any kind of thrusting enhances friction (which is the main source of pleasure during all kind of intercourse.)
The most basic position for anyone (and the most likely you'll get when you have sex for the first time with a girl) is the missionary position. Technically, the missionary is executed by having B lying in supine position (belly-up) with thighs and legs opened and A kneeling or standing in front of her/him (if he/she is on an elevated surface), frontally penetrating the vagina (or anus).
- Suggestions: B may lift her/his legs wrapping them around A's waist, or join them while being penetrated (tightening the vaginal/anal walls), placing one or two legs on A's shoulders, bending the legs at the knee and pushing them towards the chest, or lift the pelvis to follow through the thrusting movement. A pillow could be placed under the receiving partner's waist to heighten it up and achieve deeper penetration (especially for anal sex.) Lifting up the torso and supporting with elbows/hands puts stress on the neck, but may be useful to get closer.
- Pros: Easy access to vaginal penetration: though other positions are available, it's one of the most common and one of the easier when starting sex. B can lie and relax the back muscles. Due to its front-facing nature, this position enhances eye contact and helps to create a feeling of intimacy; it's also easy to kiss, talk and hug during sex. The technique, unless required by special variations, requires no hands, therefore they can be used to further stimulate the partner, i.e. touching the clitoris or nipples.
- Cons: When trying it with a B that has tight vaginal/anal walls, the penetration may occur with difficulty in the first moments of intercourse. Depth of penetration in this position is limited, and for a normally endowed A it's hard to join vaginal stimulation and G-spot massaging. The strain is principally on A, who has to control thrusting speed and depth. This is commonly seen as a "boring" sexual position, because its usage was recommended through centuries of sexual repression.
Though technically it is a penetration from behind, the spoon technique is actually obtained by having A lying on one side and on the side of B, who lies in supine position (face-up). From such position, a frontal penetration of the vagina/anus is possible, with the penis head rotated of 90° on the navel-anus axis.
- Suggestions: See missionary position, keeping in mind that a leg is already bent in the most majority of cases. A T-square variant involves A's body being perpendicular to B's.
- Pros: It's easier to achieve penetration when missionary position is ineffective. Also allows A to hug B from a side position to keeping B firm in place and compensate the thrusting movement. It's a decent, yet "tame" alternative way to the missionary position. It allows eye contact, and a free hand may be used to stimulate the receiving partner.
- Cons: The penetration depth is limited, and usually lifting the nearmost side B's leg is necessary to allow contact. Lying on one side usually restrains movement of A's relative arm, that loses part of its functionality, unless used to hug/restrain B. Lips kissing is actually difficult unless B is flexible enough to endure a fierce bending angle on one leg.
The doggy style penetration is the most common penetration from behind. It usually is achieved by having B on all fours or bent forward creating an angle of 90° between torso and legs.
- Suggestions: B can bend further, forming a narrower angle; spread the legs or clench them; or have A grab own's wrists and gently (or not) pulling backwards arching widening the angle. B can also lie on the side and receive the penetration from the front, with A kneeling, or standing (if the receiving is on an elevated surface), or lying belly-to-back.
- Pros: Allegedly easy penetration, as the sexual organs are fully exposed. B may "go with" A's thrusts, and A can hug B's torso, bend forward or arch backwards to achieve extra depth during penetration. Doggie style has the highest penetration depth for sexual intercourse, save cowgirl and reverse cowgirl positions. When particular conditions are met, it can also lead to G-spot stimulation.
- Cons: This position hardly allows visual aid and the risk of touching anus when searching for vaginal contact are far higher than other positions. Though being inherently better for sex, the doggy style position has widely been seen as demeaning and humiliating for the receiving end, due to the difficulty to achieve eye contact and kissing, all the while exposing the receiving end's bare buttocks to the penetrating end and showing "embarassing" regions of one's body to the partner's eyes. It has been seen in popular culture as a "dirty sex" position, and associated with violence and rape conducts; males are "usually" enticed by the back perspective, while women are "traditionally used" to dislike it. Nonetheless, it's one of the most widespread positions and the one that still generates most controversy.
A variant of the penetration from behind consists in having B lie prone (face-down), and having A enter from behind the anus/vagina by lying on the B's back or kneeling by placing the B's legs between A's open knees, and bend slightly forward, placing the hands approximately at shoulder's width, like in push-ups.
- Suggestions: It is advisable to put pillows under B's waist to lift slightly the pelvis and help the penetration; while A should avoid taking uncomfortable positions if possible.
- Pros: The receiving end is lying and therefore can relax the whole body muscles. If the receiving end keeps the legs joint, the penetrating end may experience a tightening of vaginal/anal walls, causing higher friction. The thighs may provide further stimulation and (if the size allows it) thrusts can be alternated with strokes between the gluteuses (unofficially known as an "assjob", in analogy to other practices involving the penetrating partners rubbing their penis on/between various parts of their partners' bodies.)
- Cons: Achieving penetration is difficult due to the lack of space and, if particularly angled or bent, a penis may not be suitable to try penetrating with little space. Kissing is extremely difficult, and the same happens with eye contact. Thrusting and regulation of depth are once again in charge to A. A's position might (Stress the word "might") put pressure on the head of the penis (This probably happens because of an incorrect position) and, continuing with this, might lead to sexual-related illnesses such as anorgasmia (Orgasm is really delayed or non-existant during intercourse or masturbation), or even erectile disfunction (Problems to achieve an erection and/or keep it). Odds are, that it won't really happen unless A feels that the penis is under too much pressure (It's often because A's doing it wrong and has to "realign" his position, but there are cases of people that didn't give a shit and now they can't get their dick straight).
The cowgirl position (or girl-on-top as it is commonly known) has B facing A, and kneel above A's pelvis, achieving penetration by inserting the penetrating object vertically placed. The receiving end can squat or bend in forward/backward motion, "grind" on the frontal walls of vagina/anus by arching the back, move to the side, etc. It is used widely in pornographic movies.
- Suggestions: Virtually any placement of the legs can create different sensations for B, therefore any variation may include straightening the legs towards A while arching the back while supporting the weight with arms and hands; or, while squatting, the rebound produced by an elastic surface can be used; B can push up the pelvis enhancing the force of thrusts. During vaginal intercourse, a bent-forward B's anus can also be stimulated by the penetrating partner with A's fingers.
- Pros: B is in control, regulating depth, speed and force of thrusts and generally guiding the intercourse. A can easily reach any B body part, and the position allows eye contact between the partners, sexual stimulation (by manipulation of clitoris, anus, breasts and erogen zones) and kissing.
- Cons: It usually wears both A and B really fast, and - unless the vaginal/anal walls are so tight to produce continuous friction, a male partner most likely can keep an erection for a limited time while in this position, due to the blood flowing towards the body and not towards the penis.
The reverse cowgirl position is the penetration from behind equivalent to the cowgirl, and many considerations done for the cowgirls are valid for the reverse, too. The reverse cowgirl has B facing in the opposite direction of A, and kneel above A's pelvis, achieving penetration by inserting the penetrating object vertically placed. The receiving end can squat or bend in forward/backward motion, "grind" on the frontal walls of vagina/anus by arching the back, move to the side, etc. It is used widely in pornographic movies. It is one of the most prominent positions in pornography, because it frontally exposes the genitalia of the receiving end during anal and/or vaginal penetration in many of its variants.
- Suggestions: Everything described for the cowgirl position still applies; additionally, during vaginal penetrations it is possible to have the receiving end bend forward, almost like in a doggy style position, and having A stimulate B's anus with the fingers, having a frontal view. For both vaginal and anal penetrations, a range of stereotypical pornographic-oriented positions are obtained by having B change the legs' position and sit on the penetrating's pelvis, thus enhancing the penetration's depth.
- Pros: see cowgirl position; add that, like any other penetration from behind, the depth reached is relevant.
- Cons: Disavantadges are: the relational difficulty in achieving eye contact and kissing; many positions based on reverse cowgirl are rather exotic and visually enticing for men, but require both strength and flexibility; therefore, are hard to keep and slightly unappealing for women.
Quickly said, sitting positions are obtained when the penetrating partner is sitting and the receiving sits on his erect penis. Penetration can be vaginal or anal. Any position of legs and any angle of penetration is therefore possible.
- Suggestions: While it is possible to simply sit with legs straight or crossed, or kneel on a surface and begin penetration, in the long run it may wear the legs pressed by the receiving end's weight and the eventual bounces. This can be partially avoided by sitting on an elevated surface (such as a chair; it is advisable to choose a chair that allows to comfortably, fully touch with the feet plants and put the weight on the ground.)
- Pros: The receiving partner controls depth and speed of penetration, while the penetrating one can relax the back muscles, much like cowgirl and reverse cowgirl positions. Depending on which direction is he/she facing, the receiving end may kiss, have eye contact; in any case, he/she can be hug by the penetrating partner to enhance the thrust.
- Cons: see Suggestions, and cowgirl/reverse cowgirl for further information.
Here are some "tricks" regarding specifically sexual intercourse. They may or not work with you, but are actually used pretty often and may help when needed. They're under the form of easy commands that you can remember yourself when you're down having sex and encountering problems. For obvious reasons (author speaking is male), I can only give some insight to women, I have yet to experience how being a woman is - and I guess I'm not going to know it soon.
- Go easy. Sex could be a wild ride, but you actually will have to start smooth. Life isn't a porn and you don't have to positively hump furiously from the first second you're in. Try to slowly work inside the walls, pushing gently and making lighter, short-range thrusts. Especially girls love this softer approach, since if they're pretty tight penetration will hurt them until lubrication kicks in and this will make them soaking wet. Even if you're using lubricants, starting smooth is the best way to do it. Concentrate on the pleasure and warmness you feel when with every push a growing part of you gets inside.
- Keep it up. Once you started, sex becomes a wild ride; your girl/partner, when lubed enough, will allow you to go faster and deeper. Faster still means you don't have to go full throttle from zero hour, because your muscles are subject to wearing pretty much and you'll be physically spent when your partner wants more. And you'll insta-cum, which is so bad for you. So, keep a decent rhythm and thrust fiercely without being a raving madman; it must be enough for you to keep pumping for ten minutes at least.
- If you're tired, go deep. Ok, you didn't follow me before, or you calculated wrong and bang! now you can't hump anymore, your back muscles hurt and you're in a pool of sweat and panting right when she was starting to moan carelessly. And you're far from coming. Then, that's time to buy time and use a slower, and deeper penetration. Arch your back to push any centimeter of you inside. Slowly pull out until you're almost outside and then suddenly rush in with force. You'll feel sucked in, and this means absolute paradise. And your partner sure will, too. Note that this probably will make you cum faster than almost anything else.
- Try not to come fast. This may be a no-brainer and debate on the subject may go on forever, but you actually should try your damndest not to come until you can't resist anymore. Egoistically speaking, if you restrain your ejaculation for a bit it will be awesome. No shit here. Moving to more serious questions, if you're without a condom, you're already getting a risk you should not take and coming inside your partner may worsen the situation to skyrocketing degrees. Anyways, you can force yourself not to cum by compressing the urethra muscles really hard (as if you're keeping from pissing - I know it's an horrible comparison, but the urethra is one and cum flows from there as well); by pressing hard with two fingers on the penis base, ideally on the point it joints with the scrotum (though this has no scientifical correctness and may or may not work with you); or by pressing hard on a nerve that is located on the center of perineum (the zone between your anus and your scrotum.) This can buy you some more time, but keep in mind: you won't last much anyway. Fapping around 1~2 hours before sex is one of the most frequent advices, but it zeroes your libido and may taint the experience.
Trust your body. The pre-cum is designed to
fuck you when you're playing and trying to pull out in timewell, maybe not, but at its arrival you'll feel a wave of pleasure similar to orgasm. This is the signal that you absolutely have to stop. You're near to cum and in less than ten thrusts you'll feel the cum rushing off and then you'll be done. None of the methods that have been stated in the previous paragraph will buy you time. Pull out, ask your partner where to cum and if you don't have any answer decide by yourself. Don't get in again, even if begged - if you must not come inside, you're up to drown yourself in shit.
- Don't get it unnecessary long. Remember that it's ok and perfectly natural to cum if you're above 7~10 minutes of intercourse if you're not circumcized - if you are, you may resist more but no insurance. Remember you're not shooting porn and you don't have to resist one hour straight; if your partner's muscles aren't relaxed as fuck (i.e.: fisting-addicts and the likes) sexual intercourse will hurt more than give pleasure after 20~25 minutes. Women complain often about having "fast" men but they actually don't like to be prodded for long periods.
- Don't stress yourself. If an accident happens and you cum pretty fast, don't outrage completely, don't blame yourself, don't panic. Talk clear and straight to your partner that yes, you've cum, and it mostly doesn't depend on you. If you have followed the advices given before and didn't hump like a berserker you don't have anything to blame on yourself, and your partner shouldn't too. If they complain and snide you when you fail, it's a flashing sign they don't respect you. By the way, if accidents happen the most majority of the times you try, and you can't last at least 5 minutes even if you struggle with all your might, it'd be nice if you look forward going to your doctor. No shame issues can counter the fact that you don't want to live a shitty sex life and be content with it. You want to fuck, you want to feel good: decide to do something about it.
- Active part. Missionary? By Jove Almighty, you must do something. As a woman, if you're not horrible you have any kind of charms to make the blood rush through the veins of the average male, and if someone wants you, for heaven's sake, wants you to get an active role in what you're doing. Staring blankly at your partner looking serious amd silent will beat the most good-spirited folk into Dramaland, asking himself what is he doing wrong. Participate and say what you want, voice your pleasure - you don't need to fake it, just be natural and don't freeze like a deer in front of truck lights.
- Relax and let yourself go. Tensed body = tensed muscle = pain. Unless you're gifted by deities or have a considerable amount of sex (you shouldn't read this if you do) it does hurt any time you start, you feel like someone is pushing a steaming hot golf stick up your pussy and you know it. Try to distend muscles and feel the penetration as it goes deeper. Burning hotness filling you may eventually become pleasurable. Slow your man, pushing him physically back when you feel him too deep, don't expect for him to go easy naturally because he won't unless you tell him. Then, when pain is over and you like it, make him know you want more. And if you're too tame to say it aloud and moan, grab his hair or his mouth and give him a tongue-laden barrage or bite him gently on the neck. This will do wonders, and if it doesn't... go with the thrusts until you lose control.
- Try to come. Sex is good when you come. Whereas many women claim that orgasm is less important than generic pleasure during intercourse, nonetheless it's like eating the cherry on a whipped cream cake - before saying you don't want it or don't care about it you should feel the sudden contraptions, the hot flush on your cheeks and the waves of pleasure pushing inside of you. Try playing with your clitoris during sex, if you can't have vaginal orgasms, or better ask your partner to do it if he seems multi-tasking enough to try it.
- He's coming. When a guy is about to come, a decision should be made on where the cum should go. It can't be stopped and most likely spillage will get a mess everywhere, so together with him you'd better think about cum's destination. I know many women that don't like being ejaculated upon, and I won't question their reasons (since anyone has motivations that I can't fathom) but you have to decide beforehand.
- Don't fear saying no. If you want or do not want something, remember that you're not a 1950s housewife / a donkey and you don't have to endure pain or a finger in the ass for your partner's entertainment. The standard scheme is: man want to fuck. Female wants too, but pretends she don't and, when obliged, feigns pleasure or denies at all. Break the scheme: if you don't like what your man / woman is / is not going to do, you better speak when you're about to do it, not to martyrize yourself and then complaining that you don't have a true sex life, that you're always hurt because your partner is pushy / rejective and doesn't care about you. Men and women can both be actually disposable to understand you, if they are so full of shit they don't, all they deserve is to have the bird flipped at them and ditched. Don't exaggerate: you can say no if something hurts you or you do feel against with a reason... don't deny always anything that you simply can't be bothered to do. Concede something sometimes as a special extra, something that could be expected or not, and reserve it for the times you feel adventurous enough. Your partner might want it hard, and leaving expectations always undone is a sure fire way to make sex a good argument to fight over.
- Change. Try to change positions when you feel sore with one. Don't rush or transform your sexual activity into a fitness routine, because in the end you're there to have some pleasure and not to sore your wrists by passing 20 minutes straight having them support you in a missionary or the legs hurt by staying with the legs spreaded over the human possibilities.
- Come together. If you can. Try delaying it a bit; if you can't make in time or are the one to come first, offer to your partner to finish off with oral sex or manipulation etc.
- Play solo. Experiment. For guys: try to apply some methods to restrain ejaculation. Do something useful with your fapping, and make it work to develop control on your penis and your muscles. Have you ever tried prostate massage? I agree it may sound a bit gay, but according to who tried, you'll feel heaven. Didn't you know your nipples are sensitive? For girls: you can't possibly think a guy can help you cum if you don't know how to. Learn pushing your fingers up to the G-spot, and then you'll be able to have your partner make you scream like a banshee. Ever tried to initiate anal penetration with a finger? If you start slowly it doesn't hurt so much, and it may be pleasurable if you do it during masturbation.
Oral sex it is generally seen as a less "strong" approach to sex and is now widespread in its usage. Though not directly gratificating for both parties as sexual intercourse, nonetheless it can be a satisfying substitute for full intercourse (especially in lesbian sex that does not employ any device intended for penetration) and some people may find it even more psychologically enticing. Note that is still considered a felony in many states, even in the USA. Again, these information are suitable for any kind of relationship.
Generally women are undecided in what to do when they have to stimulate a penis for the first time(s) with their mouth; even if some men would dismiss it with a "don't bite and it's all right" there are actually some tips that can enhance the experience for the receiving end (a man giving head to another man does know something about his own anatomy, so they could probably imagine what better suits their partners because it would suit them too.) To the eventually uncultured, oral sex is also called "fellatio" (Latin and legalese) or, most commonly, "blow-job" or "sucking" or "giving head".
The first and foremost warning I'd give to every girl trying to start oral sex is: treat it as a kiss on the lips or on the chest of your partner. Many girls regard a blowjob as something completely different from any other kind of oral contact, but it is utterly wrong and may result only in unpleasurable results. Everything you know about kissing will suit perfectly on a penis:
- free use of tongue freely in swift or slow motions on any of the surfaces
- small peckers
- caressing with the lips
- gentle sucking
- glans: "head" of the penis; may be of a darker color respect to the rest of the penis skin and has a "mushroom" structure. Hosts the urethra on top. Is the most sensitive area of the penis and the one that receives the highest part of blood flow. The urethra is also sensitive, but be careful because it's an important tract of the reproductory and urinary system. Note that the lower zones of the glans are incredibly sensitive since they're hardly exposed, and touching them with your fingers or tongue will have a strong effect.
- frenulum: the small line of tissue that links the glans to the rest of the penis; it's extremely sensitive.
- base: the base of the penis hosts a nerve that can be triggered with ease by sliding with the tongue from the top towards the testicles.
- testicles and scrotum: they're sensitive, too.
While doing energic blowjobs may seem a sure-fire way to make a man cum, this is accurate to a certain extent; the deeper and faster you go the more it will be felt and appreciated, but some men may prefer a softer approach, especially the ones that are not circumcized and/or do not have a great sexual experience. As a basic rule, you don't need to overdo it, because it may eventually hurt if done with excessive force. Remember to breathe as often as you need, and if you're going to take a long pause give some strokes with your hand to keep erection constant. Hand motions are also important, and will be discussed in the handjob section.
Men traditionally tend to "dislike" the practice of cunnilingus (which is the correct term for "carpet munching" or "pussy licking".) Causes often declared are the vaginal juices taste and smell; both can be pungent and unpleasant to one's personal taste. Women keep great consideration for expert practitioners for the simple reason that a large part of females can not achieve orgasm through vaginal stimulation, therefore may prefer a direct oral contact with the clitoris.
The first and foremost warning I'd give to every boy trying to start oral sex is: treat it as a kiss on the lips or on the tits of your partner, but remember to stay gentle. Many men regard a cunnilingus as something completely equal to close their eyes, stick out their tongues and lick relentlessly or prod until the girl cums. While this is perfectly acceptable (even doing it mechanically is probably a sure-fire way to make a girl cum) it is unsatisfactory and wearing for the one who licks... then everything you know about kissing will suit perfectly on a vagina:
- free use of tongue in swift or slow motions on any of the surfaces
- heavy breathing
- small peckers
- caressing with the lips
- gentle sucking
- clitoris: is a rather small point that can be reached on the conjuction of the top of the labia majora (the larger pussy lips.) It is extra-sensitive and behaves like a glans. Its dimensions may vary, but usually it is hidden under a "hood" and may not be readily available to your tongue. The hood can be pulled away showing it off, but it's advisable to do it gently and go smooth on any further contact.
- lips: the labias (majora and minora) are the "pussy lips"; the former ones are the bigger ones, while the latter ones are hidden inside the former, save for a minority of cases. They're sensitive to a certain extent, but their stimulation can be satisfactory.
- vaginal entrance: aside Gene Simmons, a human tongue is not long enough to go deep inside the vaginal entrance, nonetheless tongue penetration is possible and is satisfactory for the receiving end.
- urethra: during sexual arousal it's hard to find it, but somehow stimulation is possible.
- Before initiating cunnilingus and direct contact, beginning contact with the inner thigh, switching sides, and moving inward extremely slowly will serve to raise your female partner's level of arousal.
- Take note at the pattern of your partner's breathing, a sudden gasp indicates a positive response to the previous action, and it is advisable to repeat said action.
- To move the tongue, it's a good thing to follow a pattern and avoid lapping, which will cover a greater area but will diminish the local effect (especially if employed while licking the clitoris.) Suggestions: circles, infinite symbol, alphabet letters or numbers.
Since we've defined non-sexual intercourse as any contact between body parts and genitalia that do not involve penetration, a strict classification is nigh impossible, since we'd have to consider what is basically rubbing genitals on a body part. There are several examples, that we'll try to see in rapid succession. Most of those get the suffix -job, that joins the body part used for rubbing (as in handjob), or the suffix -fucking (as in fingerfucking.) Using lubricants may enrich the experience and it's a good idea for anything you're trying. The only one we'll separate is the handjob since the others don't have so much to say about them.
Though it is most commonly associated to male masturbation ("fapping" or "jacking off"...), the definition of handjob can be applied to any kind of contact between hands and genitals, therefore also female masturbation ("shlicking" or "fingerbanging"...) can be considered a hand job.
One of the fastest ways to achieve orgasm is to clench a fist around the penis shaft and move the hand smoothly in an up/down movement, with the desired speed and depth (which is the essence of fapping.) Caresses are also ok, and it's advisable to start smooth as usual with delicate finger touch and slow tugging, reserving the fastest and most dramatic motions when approaching orgasm.
- Suggestions: it's better not to tug energically and/or push violently upwards or downwards. Most of the pleasure derives from the friction of foreskin on the glans, but being too hard and pulling back the skin with vehemence could result in pain for the male. Playing with testicles and scrotum is perfectly acceptable, but note that the sensibility is high and excessive pressure on those parts may hurt.
The possibilities are wide: there can be direct stimulation of the clitoris, rubbing of labia, or penetration with own's fingers. In all cases, it's always advisable to adopt a smooth approach, and wait for natural lubrication to kick in before attempting heavy touching.
- Suggestions: in the specific case of finger penetration, it's a good idea to search for the G-spot when the partner is kneeling, by inserting one or two fingers (usually the middle and the ring fingers) inside the girl's vagina and applying pressure on the front walls by moving like in the "come on" gesture.
Fetishes, like everything else, must be taken in moderation. You can't take a girl home for the first time and then try to fuck her in a fursuit. As you get more comfortable with someone, you can open up more. Test the waters and see what her response is. If you want to get into some S&M, slap her gently or jokingly on the ass and see how she reacts. If she screams out "harder" you can go further with it, but when she says "what the fuck are you doing," you know she won't be in to that.
If you are really comfortable with your partner, you can even just bring it up in conversation. Say you saw something in a porn, and you would be interested in trying it out if she was open to it. You never know, she might have wanted you to say something because she was too nervous, and you were both into the same things the whole time.