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The Book of Gaia

Antonizoon edited this page Aug 13, 2014 · 3 revisions

see The Book of Anon

All is Cancer

  • The words of the oldfag, the son of 4chan, user of 7chan.
  • Cancer of cancers, saith the oldfag, cancer of cancers; all is cancer.
  • What lulz hath a man of all thine original content which he maketh in thy basement?
  • One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the both generations never got laid anyways.
  • The stickies also ariseth, and the stickies goeth down, and hasteth to the mind of that mod from which they arose.
  • Pedobear goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; he whirleth about continually, and pedobear returneth again according to where he thinks he may encounter youth.
  • All the macros run into the sea of piss; yet the sea is ebaumsworld, so they careth not.
  • All caturdays are full of repost; anon cannot take new pictures of thy cats: the p3n0r is not satisfied with fapping, nor the loli filled with cum.
  • The memes that hath been, shall be; and that which is posted is that which shall be reposted: and there is nothing new on 4chan.
  • Is there any content whereof it may be said, See, this is funny? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.
  • There is no remembrance of former raids; neither shall there be any remembrance of raids that are to come with those that shall come after.

The Experience of the Oldfag

  • I the Oldfag was mod over 420chan, even though I, in mine own history, am known mostly upon 7chan
  • And I gave myself to lurk moar concerning all things that are done on the *chan: this sore travail hath moot given to the sons of anon to be exercised therewith.
  • I have seen all the copypasta that is spouted on /b/; and, behold, all is cancer.
  • That which is 2 inches cannot be made long enough to please a woman, except with surgeries which anon affordeth not
  • I thought in mine own heart, saying, I am come to great knowledge, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in 2chan: yea, my dick had great experience of lolis and hentai.
  • And I gave my dick to know fapping, and to know lulz: I perceived that this too is AIDS.
  • For in much fapping is much grief: and he that increaseth fapping also increaseth the odds that he will never know a woman's vagina.

A Time for Everything

  • To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose within anonymous:
  • a time to go on /b/, and a time to die; a time to fap, and a time to cut off ones own penis in terror.
  • a time to ra/i/d, and a time to love; a time to watch Fox News, and a time to be a reasonable human;
  • a time to watch bridget, and a time to be lolstraight; a time to post some CP post some tits post a picture of your 2 inch dick, and a time to stick it in her pooper;
  • a time to leave thy basement (not really, just fucking with you), and a time to sleep in thy mother's bed; a time to play WoW, and a time to feel socially significant by watching hentai instead (because WoW is lulloser?)
  • a time to get, and a time to failget; a time to combo, and a time to c-c-c-c-c-combo break;
  • a time to eat ramen, and a time to watch /a/nime; a time to speak thy mind, and a time to drink warm cups of shut the fuck up;
  • a time to love kittens, and a time to be an INTERNET HATE MACHINE; a time of chanapocalypse, and a time to not care.
  • What profit hath he that worketh? Therefore art thou anon, who claimeth not thine own makings.
  • I have seen the stickies of many chans which mods hath given to the sons of anon to be exercised.
  • They hath made everything gay in their time: also they have set the world in their heart, so that no man can enjoy a picture of a fucking cat for one god damned second.
  • I know that there is no good in them, but for us to bitch, because mods fail.
  • And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, but anon careth not, for he hath not friends with whom to do such things.
  • I know that, whatsoever Moot doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and Moot doeth it, that men should fear before him.
  • That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and Admins requireth that which is past.

The Faggotry of Newfags

  • And moreover I saw under the sun the place of judgment, /i/; and the place of righteousness, /r9k/.
  • And it was said, /i/ shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work, since anon needs a fucking hobby.
  • I said in mine heart concerning the future of /b/, that moot might manifest them, and that they might see that they are a bunch of college age faggots who spout gay memes and never shut the fuck up.
  • For that which befalleth the sons of 4chan befalleth newfags; even one thing befalleth them: as the one be trolled, so trolled be the other; yea, they have all one intarwebz; so that an insurgent hath no preeminence above a newfag: for both are made of AIDS
  • All go unto one place; all are of faggotry, and they all go on failchan, even if they claim they do not.
  • also what the fuck is up with Kakama?
  • Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that anon should rejoice in his own OC; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

Advice to Newfags

  • Cast thy lulz upon the ocean of piss: for thou art needed there
  • Deliver /r/equests and be helpful to thy /b/rothers.
  • If /b/ art full of niggers, then DDoS 4chan until moot banneth whatever boxxy
  • He that lurketh moar shall not fuck shit up; and he that never stops bitching shall never understand the ways of 420chan
  • As thou knowest not what is the way of the insurgency, nor how awesome 7chan once was, so too art thou autistic.
  • Rejoice, O newfags, in thy underage b&; and let thy disgust make ye cum in thy youth, as it did for anons who cameth before ye.

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